Today, my oldest son Micaiah David Watts who only lived for a few days and died as an infant. would have turn 40 years old. I can still remember his cute round face, the face of a little angel. I never understood nor seriously contemplated the full impact that his death had on me until recently. It was during my preparation and delivery of a three part sermon series on grief in general and the Grief of Jesus in particular. As I was examing the passages of scripture that revealed the Grief that Jesus endured, I was force to examine my own life and my deepest encounters with Grief. Several incidences readily came to mine among them were the death of my oldest brother, my Grandmother, my Mother, my Father, my good friend Alphonso Perry, and the death of Mother in-law, Ms. Betty Smith, in that order. The death of those individuals readily came to mine and I could vividly recalled the Grief experience of each. The emotional upheaval of recalling the death of my infant son shocked me. I remembered the deep sadness that I felt when he died, but I did not remember grieving his death. It is if I simply picked up and moved on without really grieving.
Now I understand that we must not allow ourselves to be trapped by and paralyzed by grief. But it is critically important that we do allow ourselves time and space to grieve and to allow God to comfort and console us so thst we can move forward to ward healing and wholeness.
It is my humbled opinion that grief is the most powerful and intense experience that we can have as human beings. Because it is borne in the mysterious part of our being that being our soul, spirit, psychic and emotions. The part of us that only God knows and that only God can reach. Grief can drive us to total dependence of God. Our Savior, Jesus Christ is the perfect example. In Isaish 53, the prophet describes the Messiah as a man of sorrows acquainted with grief. Isaiah goes on to write surely he has borne our sorrows and carried all of our griefs . Jesus carried our sorrows and grief all the way to cross. On the cross He bore our sorrows and carried our grief. There on the cross Jesus was smitten by God and bore the punishment for sin. As the sin bearer he was forsaken by God. The grief he bore was far beyond our ability to comprehend. From the cross He cried “it is finished”, and then He totally surrender to God, and said “Father into your hands I surrender my spirit”. Jesus is the perfect example of what to do when we filled overwhelmed by grief and that is to totally surrender to God. AMEN